Updated: Jan 7, 2019
What Women Want…
If anyone knows women when it comes to hair there are three cardinal rules that must be adhered to at all times. One, never ask if it’s her “real” hair, never disrespect the sacred relationship between a woman’s edges and her bonnet, but above all else never let it be known, emphatically or implied (especially to a woman of color) that you think she looks her best when her hair is straightened. The world we live in already puts enough pressure for women to be perfect in every area of life, and it still deems us at best as second class citizens. So there is no greater disrespect than to be told by someone we trust and love that our natural self, is not our most attractive self.
Everywhere we turn the Eurocentric woman is presented as the standard of beauty. However, thanks to the more recent war cries of Solange and the visual representations exemplified by Shani Crowe, women are finally experimenting with their hair texture, and bringing natural hair pattern into the boardroom. It’s beyond a trend and with more and more women saying no to processed hair and yes to letting their curl pattern fly, there is cause to celebrate.
What though of the woman who is teetering on either making the big chop into natural territory or the woman who simply is tired of the maintenance processed hair brings? There can be real apprehension if a woman has tied a piece of her self-esteem into the façade that straight hair provides. It can damn near be traumatic if she begins the journey and instead of accommodation and support is met with scoffs and puzzled looks.
As someone who has always oscillated between curly and straight hair my entire life, I can personally attest to people being eager to compliment me on my looks when my hair was freshly done versus when it was in its natural state. Although I never allowed the opinions of others to determine how I styled my hair, it always infuriated me that society clearly deemed me more beautiful when I didn’t have my hair in its curly texture.
So if you find yourself face to face with a voluptuous fro, or a bold and daring twist out, offer a kind word and you’ll be amazed at the response you’ll receive. I have yet to meet a woman who didn’t light up like Soulja Boy escaping jail time at hearing someone praise them for their natural hair style. It is our of our responsibility to build up those around us and whether or not their hair is long and wavy like Beyonce, or short and funky like Jill Scott, it all should be deemed equally beautiful because it is a representation of the crown that women wear through their entire existence. It should be revered and not diminished, but most importantly it deserves to be loved in the way that we all deserve to be- unconditionally.
That is what women want.
-Joi Has Questions-