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Stature is a lifestyle brand dedicated to the interest of black men.

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Stature Guide: The Do's and Don'ts to Surviving Valentine's Day

Fellas, no matter how we may personally feel about Valentine's Day, for your sake and peace of mind, get your woman a gift! The old, "Everyday is Valentine's Day" or "It's not a real holiday" excuse will not cut it. Acknowledge February 14th as a "holiday" that requirers your participation. Think about the Super Bowl, the regular season games still get attention but all eyes will be on the Super Bowl. It's not too late to conquer and come out on the winning end. Here are the do's and don'ts to Valentine's Day.



Do:

Make up in your mind that you have to participate. If you're in any kind of relationship, then you're already involved in the holiday tradition that "conveniently" comes during tax return season, just two-months after Christmas and three-months after Thanksgiving. All that matters now, is that you do something, anything for her- she's worth it.



Don't:

Fall for your lady's, "Oh, you don't have to buy me anything for Valentine's Day" bluff - It is a TRAP! Do not fall for it. Of course she wants something , she wants to participate and brag to her friends the next day. I fell victim to this trap back in 2009. My wife, then my fiancé, was adamant we didn't need to exchange gifts and expressed she had zero interest in celebrating Valentine's Day. To my surprise, I failed to read between the lines because although she said she didn't want anything, she thought she still deserved a Valentine's Day card as she turned cold on me for the remainder of day. Believe it or not, to this day she still insists we don't exchange gifts and to this day I still get her a gift anyway. Like the saying goes, fool me once, shame on you...and if you fool me, you can't get fooled again. Word to George W. Bush.



Do:

Put "some" thought into your gift for the woman you love. I emphasize the word some because you don't have to do the absolute most, but a little thought goes a very long way. You do not have to buy red bottom shoes or a new designer bag. Instead, create a plan, perhaps an experience or purchase something sentimental. Here is a tip, try and engage all five of her senses; look, touch, smell, taste and hear. Think about her favorite colors, food, movies etc.



Don't:

Try and go to a restaurant without a reservation. Valentine's Day dinner is the equivalent of going Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve. You're better off finessing her by trying to cook her favorite meal from your home. Side note, if you decide to cook from home, please make sure your crib is clean, a little aesthetic goes a long way too. So, pick up your dirty socks and underwear off the floor. Turn the TV off and turn the music on and pay close attention to the cooking instructions.





Do:

Dress the part. We have a tendency of becoming complacent. It's very easy to fall into our habits out of comfort. Whether you make plans to go out or stay in, take pride in your appearance. Put effort into your wardrobe choice because it will say to her, you're excited to be in her presence. Get that line-up, trim your nails and throw on your favorite cologne. She'll appreciate your effort.



Don't:

Underestimate the power of flowers and candy. Yep, the old faithful - the classic flowers, candy, card and teddy bears are still affective. One year, for Valentine's Day I costumed-designed my own card from home. I invested in card stock, and created the design and message which was sentimental to my wife. That card was one-of-one, which started from a little thought and effort. So remember, sometimes less is more.


Do:

Be a gentlemen the entire night. You should already be a gentleman, this is like those "employees must wash hands" signs in the bathrooms of restaurants; do you really need to be reminded? Open those doors, pull out chairs, hold hands. Magnify her experience through you chivalrous actions.



Don't:

Go through the motions. I know you work hard day in and day out, but imagine working hard for your career and everyone else (professionally) but not giving the same energy to the woman you love. It's no half stepping, if you're going to do it, then do it right. Come clean, or don't come at all especially if you're looking for her to reciprocate in her special way.


You may not agree with Valentine's Day, but it's not about you. Remember, Valentine's Day is the relationship Super Bowl in terms of attention. Stick to the list of do's and don'ts and you just may survive V-Day.







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